ON SELF (and some pity)

breaking down,

just to build yourself back up,
just to break back down.
the viscious cycle
that
    NEVER
         ENDS.


it sucks you in,
        swallows you whole,
        spits you back out.


and you really dont know how to do any of it anymore,
best to keep your mouth shut,
keep to yourself.


but sometimes,
     you collapse.
the words stream from your mouth,
the cries, the lies, and coming out your eyes,
and leaking out every pore,
so everyone hears,
     and everyone sees,
             EVERYONE KNOWS.


and the secrets you've been holding in,
the ones you really never told
    anyone.
it all gets to be too much.


and back to breaking
down,
and you cant even build it back
up,
and you look for some help,
anywhere,
                                         and you pray.
              and you know hes not even there,
no ones really listening.
  but talking to someone, imaginary or not,
is, after all,
               better than nothing
       better than having no one at all.


RUN, RUN, RUN now,
        away from it all,
  i'd rather be weak when i fall,
and sink,
             than just dissolve.